I have been told by many of my peers that, despite my diminutive stature, I am an attractive frog.   Even if I do say so myself, my skin glistens in a most unusual golden-green manner when the sunlight hits it.  My eyes protrude just enough to be considered attractive  - but not so far as to make me appear blatently sexual. The musculature in my hind legs, when shown to its best advantage, has often been remarked upon as something to which other female frogs should aspire My most appealing feature, however, has always been my ready wit.  The problem I now faced was how to introduce myself to the sexy-but-intellectual frog I had spied reading his book about quantuum physics.  I wanted him to realise that I was not a bimbo-frog who was just interested in his (exceptional) good looks and it was important that he saw past my exterior and realised that here was a frog whom he could regard as his intellectual equal. 

 

I toyed with many plans as I observed him from my hiding place.  I could simply amble over and engage him in conversation - perhaps about the topic of the book in which he seemed so engrossed.  Although on first examination that seemed like the most sensible plan, it was somewhat stymied by the fact that my scientific knowledge (other than my burgeoning understaning of how to make poisons) was sadly lacking.  Coming from the poorer end of the pond, I had not had access to the sort of education available to richer froggy families.  I was, and am, a highly intelligent frog, but much of what I know was self taught (obviously until my enrollment in the Assassin's Academy where I recieved in depth tutoring in my chosen field of study.....but more of that later).  I also considered sitting upon a rock in an fetching pose in the hope that he would notice me.  I had to put this plan aside, however, because I trembled at the thought that the object of my affections might simply consider me to be an airhead.  No.  I had to find a way to make him notice me.  A way in which I would appear at my most attractive and my most intelligent.  Another plan was called for.

 

For many sleepless nights I sat and pondered how best to engineer the introduction I so desired.  In the day I would return to my hiding place in order to observe the comings and goings of the frog I had decided would be my mate.  Part of the problem that I faced was that I had no idea how a girl frog goes about attracting a boy frog.  Whilst all of the other youngsters had been flirting and entering those transient relationships associated with youth, I was too busy hiding from - and later defeating - my tormentors.  I was a late developer when it came to affairs of the heart.  I watched him, my mouth going dry whenever another female passed his rock, terrified that someone else might gain his affection whilst I sat quietly in the shadows.  I plotted and planned but nothing seemed appropriate.  I was beside myself.  Then, one day, when I had almost given up hope, circumstances conspired to provide the introduction I had longed for.........but not in the way I had expected.............